Do you assume the worst without knowing the facts?
This past week I witnessed my adolescent daughter navigate some social drama. Her emotions were running high and she was falling into negative thinking patterns by jumping to conclusions about what the other person may have been thinking or feeling without gathering all of the evidence.
My next thought as a fellow ADHDer and ADHD life and executive function coach was about the faulty thought patterns that ADHDers can have based on failures experienced previously in life. For example, research has shown that ADHD kids can hear up to 20,000 more negative comments by age 10 from parents, peers, or others, than positive comments. So, it makes sense that negative thinking can become a pattern over time. Acknowledging and understanding the presence of these automatic negative thoughts (ANTs) can help you to self-regulate and ultimately find balance in your life.
Understanding Automatic Negative Thoughts
Automatic negative thoughts (ANTs) are destructive, self-defeating beliefs that can be hard to counter. They often come out of nowhere and take over our thinking patterns without us even realizing it. These thoughts can lead to feelings of worthlessness, depression, anxiety, and low self-esteem. Typical examples include “I’m not good enough”, “I’ll never get it right” or “Nobody will ever like me”. It’s important to remember that these kinds of thoughts are not facts—they’re simply reflections of how we feel in the moment. Essentially, you can’t believe everything your brain tells you.
There are many types of negative thought patterns that can derail our emotions ending in less than desirable outcomes. The ANT that was causing my daughter to feel dysregulated and unbalanced in my story above was due in part from jumping to conclusions. When we do this we make assumptions based on incomplete information or from our own prior experiences. This can be a common problem for those of us with ADHD because we often struggle with one of the core executive functions (EFs), inhibitory control, which includes self-control and regulating verbal and motor action. Without inhibitory control, we are at the mercy of our impulses, and old habitual thought patterns. Unfortunately, ADHD brains are often deficient in this EF skill which, often leads to misunderstandings and incorrect interpretations of situations which can lead to feelings of frustration and anger. The good news is that there are ways you can combat this tendency towards jumping to conclusions and all the different types of ANTs to improve your emotional regulation with (or without) ADHD and find balance.
Become a Thought Detective
The first step in overcoming your automatic negative thoughts is to identify them. This means paying attention to when they are occurring and what they are saying. Be intentional about writing down the thought, so that you can be aware of what triggers the thought and how it makes you feel. After doing this exercise for a few days, look back over the list of thoughts and see if there are any patterns or common themes that appear.
Challenge Your Automatic Negative Thoughts
Once you have identified your automatic negative thoughts, it’s time to challenge them. Ask yourself questions like “Is this really true?” or “Where did I get this idea from?” If the thought does not stand up to scrutiny, then you know that it is not based on reality and should be discarded. Additionally, ask yourself if there is evidence that disproves the thought; if so, use that evidence to challenge the thought even further.
Reframe Your Negative Thoughts
Once you have challenged your automatic negative thoughts, replace them with positive ones! For example, if your inner voice tells you “I will never get anything done,” replace it with something like “I can accomplish great things if I focus on one task at a time.” Or if the thought is “I’m not smart enough”, try reframing it into something like “I have learned hard things before and I can do it again”. This kind of positive thinking can make a huge difference in how you approach situations and helps to build confidence in yourself. Reframing your thoughts allows you to focus on the positives instead of being drowned out by the ANTs!
Find Balance with ADHD
Learning to manage ANTs is, in my opinion, one of the first and most important skills to work on. A positive mindset is the foundation for making progress in all areas of life. It’s important for ADHDers to find ways to manage their symptoms so they can live healthy and fulfilling lives. Other lifestyle changes such as getting enough sleep, exercising regularly, eating well-balanced meals, staying organized, setting realistic goals for yourself and taking time each day for relaxation are also very important. By taking control of your mindset and engaging in regular self-care activities such as these, you will be able to find balance despite the challenges presented by your ADHD symptoms.
There you have it! Living with ADHD, just like anything in life, may come with ups and downs but you now have the tools to manage those pesky negative thoughts, increase emotional regulation, and find more balance in life. One of our biggest hurdles lies within our own minds—automatic negative thoughts. However, understanding where these thoughts come from, challenging them with evidence-based arguments, and combining that newfound positive mindset with smart lifestyle changes, will help you manage your symptoms better and live your best life! So take a deep breath and start focusing on those positive thoughts today! You got this!
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